I’ve kept journals on and off during most of my life.
Usually journals have appeared at times when I’m stressed or unhappy, and I’ve
used them to help me make sense of what I’m feeling and put things into
context. I’ve kept a writer’s journal before too, using it to jot down my
thoughts about stories or poems I wanted to write, or writing snippets of prose
or observations. I’ve never been particularly obsessive about it, but there’s
usually a notebook to hand and now and then I’ll write something in it and that’s
been about it.
When I read Dorothea Brande’s book ‘Becoming a Writer’ one
of the exercises she poses is this, designed to help you access your ‘unconscious’:
“The best way to do
this is to rise half an hour, or a full hour, earlier than you customarily
rise. Just as soon as you can – and without talking, without reading the
morning’s papers, without picking up the book you laid aside the night before –
begin to write.”
Sounds easy right? I thought I’d give it a go and over the
course of several days began to realise how impractical this was for me.
Firstly, I don’t ‘rise’ alone. My husband ‘rises’ with me, so getting up 30
minutes or an hour earlier than usual completely wrecks the morning routine.
Secondly, I don’t ‘rise’ alone so the whole ‘without talking’ business is
virtually impossible without seeming sulky or ignorant. Plus I like talking to my husband in the
morning. Then there’s the terrible habit I’ve developed of checking my e-mail
before I get out of bed in the morning. Yes, I know, it’s a terrible, rotten
habit, but I’ve found it helps me wake up more quickly. So the whole not
talking, not reading business just doesn’t work for me.
So I adapted the exercise (okay, yes, I cheated) and instead
I decided to write in my journal during my train journey to work in the week,
and first thing after getting up on a weekend. I’ve found this habit much
easier to develop and, surprisingly, I’ve found it highly beneficial. It has taught
me a lot about me. For example, one of the first things I noticed was how hard
it was to actually write anything in the morning, when little had happened. I
realised that often I write in response
to something. That writing is often a reaction. Consequently for the first few
mornings I had very little to say. The more frequently I wrote, however, the
easier it became and now I find my pen flowing freely as my thoughts unwind and
my ideas slip from my mind onto the page. Now I am generating thoughts rather
than reacting to external stimulus. I have become sentient (at last).
Another discovery was that writing helps me to sort and
organise my thoughts. I already kind of knew this, but writing regularly has
cemented that understanding. If something is troubling me, or if I can’t work
out how I think or feel about something, writing it down brings sense to it.
Perhaps it is the effort of attempting to cage my thoughts in the structure of language
that helps me draw them into a more ordered form.
Writing regularly also aids the flow of ideas. I have found
myself uncovering a number of ideas through the random, unformed ramblings of
my morning thoughts. As a result I have more ideas than time to write them (or
skill, for that matter). In the course of my reading of Virginia Woolf’s
diaries, I have noticed a similar trend coming through her own thoughts. It is
almost as though allowing the mind to wander, to follow its own path, helps you
to uncover the bright spots swamped beneath the daily mundanities.
More importantly, writing in my journal has enabled me to
write, generally, more freely. Making an effort to write every day makes it
easier to write every day, weird as that sounds. Practice makes perfect. And it’s
had other beneficial effects too: I find it easier to concentrate in the
morning, easier to focus on my work. I have got into the habit of making myself
little ‘pledges’ each day, simple things like: I will write today, I will go
for a walk, I will meditate. Nothing too ambitious. Writing it in my book,
pledging it to myself, makes it much more likely that I will deliver on my
pledge.
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